I'm not gonna stop until I see police lights" - Rihanna "Breaking Dishes"
Well, OK, it is not that dramatic as breaking dishes. Living in Skakah does make you want to break dishes sometimes. Right now, we are fighting over dishes!!! :)
It is hilarious how sometimes we can live in a bubble and it is the only thing we consume. It is like we are on a diet on a utopian world that has some reality in it...sometimes.
About 2 nights ago, we had an old male teacher for tea. He decided to move out of the compound and in the world of reality. He said that living on the compound is a big bubble! A big bubble of how we want life to be and being away from all the "surviving" and the "struggling" of the world.
However, I would like to correct that. I don't by any means think that we live in a bubble or live a very Utopian life. I will break it down physically, mentally and spiritually.
Physically: If you think that living in the desert, in the middle of nowhere is a bubble??? No it ain't. There is a Bedouin tent about 1 metre away from us. I remember the first time I mentioned to my Saudi friend that I was going to Al Jouf. I asked him does he know anything about it, so that I can at least prepare myself. He said "are you sure it is called Jouf? Cause, I have never heard of that name before." I said to him that I will look at my contract again and let him know. I was right, it was Jouf. I called him up again and said "yes dude, it is Jouf" He was like "mmm, never heard of it before." We even google-d it. Try googling Jouf, not even google can get a hundred thousand hits on it. So, yes, I'm in the middle of no-where, and that is not a bubble. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Second of all, the physical adjustment from being busy with 4 different jobs and no sleep to a place where relaxing is the name of the game, is draining. I have never woken up and had nothing to plan in my life. Here, I wake up in the weekends with absolutely nothing going in my life. Sometimes, I just check my breathing just to make sure that I haven't died from boredom. So no, it is not a bubble!
Now, mentally. Being in the desert is sometimes a bliss. It is more beautiful than anything in the world. However, it can be so overwhelming. The silence can be deafening, the peace can be inseparable. It takes time to just fit in it. To fit in this new frame and to be a picture of some sort. It is something that I can't manifest in words, something that only a person can experience on his/her own. I always tell my friends that it is like living on the edge, on the edge of losing your mind. I have learned to enjoy the desert. I have learned to find peace in the view of sand dunes that I see. However, some people come, and they can't handle it and leave. It is a usual novelty for teachers to come and to feel really parted from the world and decide to leave. This is the part that could be somewhat a bubble.
The spiritual fatigue can really get anyone down. I just came home from a long day at school and all I want to do is to rest. To shut down from it all. I couldn't understand this tiredness in the beginning. Astahfir Allah, but at one stage I was so spiritually drained that I couldn't even get myself to pray for 2 weeks. I finally figured it out. It was the monotonous life, seeing the same things over and over again. It felt like a movie that couldn't stop playing. However, it wasn't just the desert's fault. It was my fault too. I didn't give myself the the chance to go out and to be normal in the middle of the desert and all. It was as if I was locking myself away from nothing. Cause what are you really locking yourself up with? I stop doing the things that I used to do back in South Africa or any country. Like, going for a walk, baking something or even watching my favourite TV show. I started living a little and with that I had to things to actually think about, to pray about and to aspire to.
So, even though it might seem that living in the desert is a bliss, it does come with its rough side. The side of being in the middle of nowhere, mentally, physically and spiritually. However the bliss is incomparable, the life beyond the definition of peace. It all lies in the ripples of the sand, the peak of the dunes and the sun that rises beautifully with its penetrating rays.
However, we do get sucked in to a place where we end up fighting about mindless things like "who is washing the dishes?" I don't answer the question, I would rather just break the dishes!!
No comments:
Post a Comment