Schools out!! The bell has rang for a vacation!

So the school year has come to an end and everyone is packing their bags and ready to go visit families or to just go for a chilled out weekend to a desired destination.
 I have to say , it was one big sigh of finishing off and finally letting my last batch of students for this year go.
As I have mentioned before in one of my blogs that teaching is not always just about giving information and having students to learn from you. The most amazing value one learns is that even a teacher never stops learning.. ever!
I remember the first time I walked into my first class and how overwhelmed I was with nerves and not knowing whether I will be a good teacher or not, not knowing whether this group will be okay or not. However, stepping into a classroom filled with eager students was like stepping into a relationship.
The most amazing things that these girls have taught was to take life easy. Coming from a very fastlane background, working for 4 different jobs and still trying to see family and to still enjoy life was daunting. For the first time, I got to appreciate life for what it is. I got to go home and do nothing. That was the biggest shock.... to relax. To be a woman, not needing to prove anything to anyone, no need to be impressive, but just to be a teacher and a woman. I can honestly say my students have shaped my expectations into a sculpture of life that I never knew could be accomplished.

When we were done with marking, loading up the marks and finally signing off, I went to my class and sat down. It was empty with chairs still in their examination positions. I could see their faces and feel the daily class atmosphere even though they weren't there. I do this ritual of sitting in an empty class after finishing off the year to reflect the good and bad and the ugly. To my amazement, there was more good than bad that I have learned this year. One of the good things was "students appreciate you" ,even though they sometimes don't show it, or when they hiss at you or even when they pretend that they don't see, believe me they appreciate you.
Secondly "students will not always be students". They grow in front of your eyes, they learn and they anticipate their lives with you. The best part is to hear their dreams of becoming great women of our era and to be good nurturers for their children. Also, a great dream doesn't need to be an architect, or a doctor or even an engineer. No those kinds of things don't define great dreams. Great dreams are things we truly believe we can do and set in this world to do, even if it means to be a mother, or a good wife one or even just a good person in this life. So, I learned a lot my from my girls. I wish them well and I really hope they will not forget their young days of just being girls! Bonn voyage young ladies!
So, school was out, done and dusted. It was time for me to pack and to say goodbye to all the good teachers that have also played an important role during this summer school.
As I was packing, I started freaking out as to how I would be in South Africa this time. I realized that I have changed so much, and my environment has had a great impact on me. I like the person that I have changed to, I have learned to live by rules and laws of my religion and for the first time I am going back to S.A, where those rules and laws will only depend on me. I was freaking out of how will I manage doing everything on my own and travelling on my own, because I have not done that for so long. Even when I was going to Turkey, I was never on my own. I was driven around by a friend and being taken care of by my Turkish family.
I almost decided not to go to South Africa. However, I have to go. I must see my family and friends. Most of all I must see myself back  where I was born.

It will be an experience being in South Africa, where the earth is green and lush with flowers and trees. Where the earth doesn't scorch as much as it does in the dessert. Where freedom was fought for by the youth. However this time I have decided to be a tourist in my country. The cultural shock of being back and not fitting in anymore will be a reality. A good one at that.
However, Saudi has become my home. It is my home in so many ways. It is my home in a spiritual level, mental level and even the physical level. My religion lives here, it is not a struggle as it used to be back home. The way life is here has become part of my life. I enjoy walking around in my abaya and niqab and I enjoy the moral level of this country. Most of all I am safe and sound here. Life moves on here, even if it is silent sometimes. I have done a lot of growing up here.
So, I will enjoy S.A for what it is and to be around people I love and appreciate with all of my heart. However, I will come back to my Saudi to live my life and to really enjoy the person that I am!.