Now Saudi is one of the most peaceful countries, actually it is the peaceful country on my list. Since,I have been here I have never been bothered, hindered or treated badly. In contrary, I have been living in peace and at ease.
All of my friends back home ask me about the "abaya" story. Is it hot? Do you feel depressed? Do you feel oppressed? How does it feel?
I took a while to really answer that question as I didn't want to answer it while I was in my honey moon period in Saudi Arabia. No, I wanted to wear this piece of clothing long enough where it frustrates me, helps me and most of all to understand its purpose.
Before I came to Saudi, I was not really nervous about the abaya, Muslim women around the world wear it in their daily lives or when they do their prayers.
For me, the abaya is more than just a covering of a woman's body. No, there is a lot more behind this piece of cloth that protects what is deeper than the eye.
My thought starts at -human dignity and respect. You are wondering, what has this got to do with the abaya. Well, it has a lot to do with our perception of the human body, more so the female body. Coming from a society where girls are being taught "thin is the way to go" , "show more skin" and "strut your stuff", I find that it has had a negative effect on most girls' self image. Every day in our societies we hear of women killing themselves, because society does not accept the way they look. Young girls from the age of 16 get bullied at school for their body shape and size. Girls spending their time, working out calorie counts and spending money on the best dress to impress the opposite sex. The saddest part is that girls die to be beautiful. Die to be like the women on big billboards on the high way. Girls shoving their fingers down their throat, girls only eating a carrot a day just because our society has pressurized our women to be something that they are not. Now, in the media, the whole ideal of a woman has been manipulated. "The less you wear, the better you are." I ask myself, BETTER FOR WHO??? Yes, better for men who will look at you as an object of sex, better for perverts to stimulate their sick desire, better for society to make woman do things that seem "empowering" , but actually are not. Walking down the street with a dress that could actually be a shirt, and high heels that could break legs is not empowering. Instead you will find men, men that have no interest or regard for what is behind your skin, wanting you for something that is not going to uplift your honor.
I have been in Saudi for 7 months now, by law of this country, there are no pictures or big billboards of women wherever your head turns. Some people will say, this is oppressive. I say this is progressive. This law has given women power more than what a human being can give anyone, and that is self respect and dignity for the nurturers of our society. I applaud this country for keeping things clean.
Some of you might think, I have been brain washed or I have turned to the other side. No, I have seen this all by myself and have looked at the impact it has on the women. My students don't suffer from half the things, girls at their age are suffering back home. Instead these girls take pride in themselves, guard themselves in the most modest way. No man or no woman can ever judge her in a disgraceful manner.
Another issue I have learned is getting over the "trick" of society. I came to this conclusion, because I have actually been through this before. I remember the days when I wore the shortest skirts thinking I will knock them off their feet. Then one day after university, I walked on the streets. It was like a pack of hungry wolfs howling. There was nothing pleasant about it. A compliment is not "girl you look sexy, but I think you would look sexier at the back of my car", or "nice tits" or "that is a good ass you carrying there". No, there is nothing complementary about that. However, society seems to teach us that those are compliments. You have to ask yourself, "how low must society make you feel to only be good enough for compliments on the side of the street." Of a matter a fact those guys at the club or at bars that we dress up for are just that, guys at a club and the bar trying to get lucky and we ladies don't even know it. No man of that level would EVER attempt talking to a woman when she is dressed modestly, certain of herself and her being on her way to school or work. So, that is a coward way of society that lures us into dangerous territories.
In Saudi arabia, no man dares to say something fowl in public about a women. Even if he wanted to, how would he? He has never seen your body or even your face. Fathers and brother guard their sisters and daughters so that they don't fall into the trap of being the sick fantasy of strange men. Strange men that can only do harm and no good. That is where it all begins at home. If a father concerns himself to guard his daughter, to treat her with absolute love and tenderness and sets the bar of quality of who she is, then this can only help her with self confidence, self esteem and self respect. He has given her the power to always put herself first and to honor herself and her God.
What is surprising is that many media outlets run to the middle east to "find" someone that will disagree with the abaya and then run back to their countries and say "you see, this abaya story is very oppressive. However, they keep running into a thick wall, because women on this side understands it, women on this side embrace it. I embrace it myself.
The second important thing about the abaya is that it always keeps you ready for worship and prayer. When you hear the azan and it is time for salat (prayer), you don't have to scatter about trying to find a cover for the arms and and a cover for the legs. The abaya is great to always be ready for prayer and to do the prayer comfortably without having to overstretch in denims.
Thirdly, the abaya is only worn outside the house or at places where men and women are together e.g shopping centres and the streets. However, at school where there are only girls, we take it off. It is nice, the women dress to impress other women, women enjoy it and there is less pressure of anything. When I am home or at school I am free to wear my normal clothes, and often other women have quick compliments about a new dress that was bought or a change in style. There is not "you have a sexy ass" comment, but more of a "how gorgeous you look today". This is the place where women dress so well that they get hooked up for MARRIAGE!! In a club or a bar you get dressed to get hooked up for a one night stand!
If society could be more considered to all women, maybe just maybe our daughters will spend less time crying at night about the body God gave them. Girls would not have jaded self images of themselves and they could work in peace and comfort. Most of all we would have equal respect for both men and women. I have never seen a man dressing less on his way to work or on his way to a club.........yes, think about it. Isn't it weird that a guy is not expected to come to work with only a t-shirt. A guy is not expect to come to work with the shortest trousers? A guy is not expected to expose his chest? And the worst of it all is that he STILL gets promoted! He still gets the 'hottest" girl in the club for doing absolutely NOTHING!! So, why is it expected from a woman? Yes, got it! Think about it! Beauty is not associated with what is open to the eye, beauty is more real when it hidden from the eye.
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