Hello New World!

Finally I am back in Saudi, nothing changed much since I have gone for a little holiday, which is my favorite part of Saudi....it doesn't change.
I have to say that there were a few things that have changed since I left Saudi a week ago for a holiday.
I finally got myself out of Jouf. Alhamdulilah. I have lived in Jouf for 1 year and 2 months, where biggest lesson that I had to learn was patience and endurance. The definition of those words came real to me in my life being in a place that I found went against everything I believed in and lived for.
One of the reasons I left Al Jouf, was that I didn't like the fact that my mind, my skills, everything about me was working for a man who did everything that I didn't believe in. The first example was racism and cultural discrimination  A really good friend of mine got fired, because she was Urdu and not white. However, she grew up all her life in Britain and she is English by far. Also, another good friend of mine who made the run for it, was told to be out of the picture, because he looked Egyptian/Arab and doesn't represent the English/Western side of the university. Mind you, he is born and bred British bloke and has an amazing education behind his name.
So, if you don't look white, then you can't be a native English speaker????? Me, being from South Africa, a country that has so much history regarding racial and cultural segregation, I find it extremely offensive, disrespectful, un-Islamic and most of all ignorant if someone comes up with such bull crap.
I start to wonder, where have you been for all these years? What have you learned in your life about different cultures? Who still does that? If someone had to pipe up with that kind of racial crap in my face, I would pipe them down and show them a thing or two.
Respect comes from understanding oneself and others around you. Respect and understanding is by wanting to learn about different cultures and the history of it all. Mind you, this person, did spend numerous of years in America.....clearly he didn't learn anything!

My second reason for departing Jouf was that, I hate working under fear. The fact that if I just wink in a weird direction then my pay check will be taken from me. This is not the slave trade! These are real teachers, real teachers that have left their families, friends and countries behind to come to your country to help educate them on a language that could open the doors for young Saudis to enter the world of possibilities. Yet, we were treated like that. This is the ancient method of bought labor "if you can't do it, then we will replace you" ,behavouir. Through this, teachers are not valued, cared for and treated with respect.

I am happy to say while I was in Jouf I obeyed the laws of the country, treated everything with respect and kindness. After all I am a guest and I will conduct myself in such a manner. However,what is the price one has to pay? What is the price of ones honour and respect? What is the price of money to one?

This is not all written in sadness. I have learned amazing things in Jouf. I got the chance to teach remarkable girls that will grow into beautiful women. I have seen how wonderful each and every student is, in her own way. I got to inspire and to be inspired and yet keeping the laws of the country.
I have learned be patient. This is a big deal for me. I am a very impatient person that often worries too much about nothing most times. So, for a person like me to be in a place like Jouf, is a miracle and I think I need a gold medal after all that I had to put up with.

After being a teacher in Saudi for one year there are a few things that will change you. 1. Everything is up to Allah and hope for the best. 2. Don't ask for anything, if you don't want the answer to be "Insh Allah", 3. Anything can change at any time, prepare to be flexible with anything that might be thrown in your direction.

I am sad to have left the good teachers of Jouf behind and most of all sad that I left my students behind. They made life really happier and bearable. Secondly I am ecstatic to be working in a new place where people are treated as equals. I like the peacefulness of this place and people doing their own thing.
I like the fact that I am so close to the mosque, and I can hear the sound of the Athan softly ushering people to come for prayer. I like the fact that this a new chapter in my life. A new way of growing and learning. I have made a promise to myself to learn more about Saudi, because it is a country that possesses such great history. I also want to perfect my faith and to be a better person, without the worrying part.

So, hello new world and new things!

A thousand splendid Suns- A story of women who endure and love.

“A man’s heart is a wretched, wretched thing, Mariam. It isn’t like a mother’s womb. It won’t bleed, it won’t stretch to make room for you. I’m the only one who loves you!” 


Those are the most powerful words that shook me from this splendid author's book A thousand Splendid Suns by Khalid Hosseini. 
My admiration towards his creative and emotional pen of words is beyond word, I fell in love with this writer since his first book was published "The Kite Runner". I couldn't believe that anyone could write such a powerful piece of art and do the same thing again in the following novel. He once again took my breath away and created a novel, which weeps for women and gave the best definition of the word "endurance."


A Thousand Splendid Suns is a novel about two Afghan women who come from different paths and met each other through pain and torment during the Soviet-Afghan war and a war of marriage. 
Mariam,  who was an out cast, a bastard child grew up in a small Kolbah, with her mother. Her father, Jalil,  who was a very well known man, couldn't face his act of disgrace by accepting her as his daughter. Miriam's mother, used to warn her, that her father never loved her, because he didn't accept her. The only thing that was good enough for his daughter was to hide her away in the Kolbah, like hiding his shame of sleeping with one of his servants (Miriam's mother). However, Miriam wanted to know his family. She went to the city of Kabul to meet him. However, as shameful as he felt, he didn't even open the door for his little girl. Instead, he hid away in his house with his wives and children. Miriam had to sleep on the streets that night. When she returned from her failed attempt she found her mother hanging from a tree near their Kolbah.


Lyla, who grew up in Kabul was as beautiful as her name described her "nightingale". Her father loved her and gave her education to strengthen her. His words were "Marriage can wait, but education can't." However, during the war, Layla lost her family and her father. Her dream of teaching was as real as the blood of her family on that day they were bombed. Layla was in love with Tariq, who was a cripple. The love between was so strong that the gossip of the town were mere whispers of the trees at night. 
Tariq left Kabul and but took the memories of Layla with him.


Layla and Miriam both stricken by death of family,  ended up being married to the same man. The man who oppressed them. One day they decided to make a run for it.However, the police got a hold of them and they were sent back home. Their punishment for running away were severe beating and imprisonment in their own home.  Both these ladies, from different walks of life, had one thing in common "it was a man's world in Afghanistan" and "endurance is the bitter sweet essence of a woman's power."
Since Miriam couldn't conceive a baby, she found joy in Layla's babies. However, Layla's first baby would be a living memory of her love for Tariq. Yes, Layla was pregnant from Tariq, her lost love. Even though Tariq couldn't be there for her in flesh and blood, her little daughter Aziza, reminded her of what love should feel like. Layla deceived her husband, by making think that Aziza was his. 
One day, Tariq came back, after 15 years of being outside of Kabul and avoiding the disasters of the war.  Layla looked like war herself after 15 years of an abusive husband. She felt ashamed, as she could see in the mirror of Tariq's face, how she, Layla has withered away, just like Kabul. However, Tariq's love for her still saw the Layla whom he kissed under the whispering trees. She told him when he left Kabul she was already pregnant with his child Aziza. He met his daughter for the first time and the manhood, the fatherhood in him spilled love over this jewel of a daughter he missed for 15 years.  Tariq promised her that he still loved her and that he would return for her.
However, by the time , Tariq left, her husband returned home and one of the children spilled the beans by saying a man visited Layla. Miriam and Layla knew what would happen. He was going to beat them to death. Miriam grabbed all the courage in her, everything that was left in her of what this mad man has already taken from her, and hit him over the head with a spade. 
Miriam was tried by the court and was given a death sentence. 
Miriam who couldn't conceive, and life was always harsh to her, found the joys of love through Layla's children. Miriam experienced love for the first time through the eyes of a child. 
Tariq returned for Layla and made up the 15 years that they lost. Through Miriam's courage and divine love, Layla opened a school and fulfilled her dream of teaching.


Even my words can't describe the intensity of this novel. The most amazing talent Khaled Hosseini has is that his narration is from a woman's voice. When reading it, you wouldn't believe that a man could have written this. The emotions, the loss, the severity of love and pain are painted in such a real fashion that it is hard to separate the reader from the character.
He successfully describes the history of Afghanistan and how this country was torn apart by the Soviet powers and  the Islamic fundamentalists, at the same time he walks you through the life of normal Afghan people that not only had war outside their homes, but also inside. 
His passion for letting the woman's voice be heard ripples with courage through the pages that it is so hard to put the book down. 
After I read this book, my eyes filled with tears. Tears of how much it means to be a woman. I realised how much of us have been robbed of our innocents, forced against our will, killed for our beauty and disgraced by our courage. How much of us have been in chains of social ills and our dreams cut short just to fulfil the wants of others and not of ourselves. 
Some of you might think that this book is all about romance. It is not. It is about how one woman gains strength from the other. How one woman finds happiness that she has been yearning for through the love of children. 
I still believe to this day, women are not as strong as men. However, women have endurance above all nature. Women can hold on for dear life as if life depended on itself. Women can give even when there is nothing left to give. A woman can stretch her womb and her life and make space for a baby , wanted or unwanted, where as men can't.  
For many years women have been blamed for their crime of simply being women.  Khaled narrates it so well of how social ills affects the woman in and out of home.  He reflects on how social transition either cripples or enlightens women.  He also successfully makes a comparison between good people and bad people, regardless of their culture, their background and their religion.


Khaled Hosseini's first novel "The Kite Runner" was so impressive that I stumbled on this book. It is in this book that I think we need to know more of this man. He is extremely talented, well composed in his style of writing, but speaks the truth that could kill a mocking bird. 


I will end this post by quoting one of the most heart breaking quotes in the book: “Mariam lay on the couch, hands tucked between her knees, watched the whirlpool of snow twisting and spinning outside the window. She remembered Nana saying once that each snowflake was a sigh heaved by an aggrieved woman somewhere in the world. That all the sighs drifted up the sky, gathered into clouds, then broke into tiny pieces that fell silently on the people below. As a reminder of how people like us suffer, she'd said. How quietly we endure all that falls upon us.” 

Slapstick Comedy meetings and BAD ASS teachers! End of semester drama Part 1.

I swear I don't look like this in class :)lool

I hate to be killing it for you all, but Jouf is happening. Maybe not in the best of ways, but man it is happening. It is the place where the parties are at! You need to check your schedule and see if your ass is invited.
After two weeks of illegal parties at school, football playing, fattening cakes and to top it all of, the Matawa (the religious police) paying us too many visits, you can't argue I am in the middle of the riots of all times. However, I missed most of the action, because I am always in my classroom busy teaching or preparing for the next day's class.......what I signed up for before I came to Saudi.

This week has been pretty mind blowing. It took us about a week to mark one quiz! Not an exam, a quiz that should take a teacher only 2-3 hours to mark. It would take a day to get it double marked and triple checked. However, it took us a week.  The only word I have to say for this "ground breaking". It is no shocker for me, because I know the team I am working with. Some teachers couldn't even teach for a whole week before they decided that "it is not for me" and quit a long the way.However, they upped their position, by playing "assistance academic supervisor".  Then you have the teachers that go to the salon to get their hair done to kill some time. I couldn't get my hair did since I have 50 heads to look after....what I signed up for before I came to Saudi.

It seems that we don't have our priorities straight. It seems that it is more important to have boxes in each classroom for the students to put their bags in during the exam than to finish grading papers. I didn't take a box, because I don't need one. I think placing the bags in front of the class by the door has been the most affective method that doesn't need improvement.
So, yesterday we had to have a meeting. Which we didn't need! But we had to have it. It turned out the person who planned this meeting couldn't even attend. So, another teacher had to come in and take over the meeting. This meeting was the most affective one. We wrote down what needed to be done. Priority one, get that quiz marked and put the grades in the system. Then check your speakers and set up for exams. Everyone one got to doing their job and we got more done than we did before. However the meeting was deflated when one teacher(the one that couldn't teach for 1 week) chipped in her 1 cents "and guys don't forget to take a box for your classroom." I think I accidently vomited  in my mouth and swallowed it.  That was her contribution to the whole meeting "get a box".  That needs a gold star on the forehead.

Today was the final English exams for the girls. They were pretty nervous and I assured them that it would be just fine. However, my day today didn't start at work actually....it started at home. At 6:40 in the morning our front doorbell rang furiously. I was wondering who could possibly have something to say to me at 6:40 in the morning. So, I stayed in my room getting ready for school, pretending that I didn't hear the doorbell. My brave room mate decided to answer the door. Guess who was our guest? The one and only manager. I didn't know this, until the conversation became something violent-like. So, I got a bit of what it was all about. My room mate has been sick for two days and she told me. Actually she bought herself a shot from the pharmacy to self medicate herself, but that didn't work. She looked like death yesterday and even cancelled her yoga class. So, I knew she wasn't so well. However, my manager failed to believe her, accusing her of making "lame excuses". She carried on saying "well, teacher A is sick and she is in hospital, but you on the other hand should come to school, because it isn't that serious." Of course my roomy flipped her lid and tried to explain how serious her condition is. However, through all the screaming no one was listening to no one. Soon, all I heard was "you know what , I think you should leave and don't ever ask me anything ever again at school. You want to treat your workers like crap, well there you go. " Somehow the manager didn't want to leave. She just stood there. I was walking in and out getting my bags together and pretending that I wasn't hearing, seeing nor speaking no evil. My roomy told her again "you need to leave, because I got to get ready for school and you are wasting my time." Then the manager said "no, YOU are wasting my time, because I have to get ready for the exams,"  I was thinking to myself, actually how would you get ready for the exams if you are not even on the bus to school yet?? Anyhow, between all of that, that is how my day started. When our bus turned up to pick us up, my roomy sick as hell bravely got on the bus and shouted out loud "I just want to let you all know that I was threatened in my own house."  Manager didn't have anything to respond to that. So, I just tucked my headphones on and proceeded to listen to some good Michelle Branch "loud music" on our way to school.
When we got to school, some teachers found out that their speakers weren't working. Wait, let me correct that. Some teachers complained about a week ago that their speakers aren't working and needed to be fixed before the final exams. However that problem wasn't attended to. Wait, let me correct that again. The problem was attended to, but with a mere shrug of the shoulders......BINGO. However, luckily, my room never had speaker issues, so I was ready and set to set my girls up for the exams. However, a meeting was called for at 08:00 in the morning, which really bugged us all. We have been having this meeting for the past week about things we already knew. However, this meeting was started by some teachers that were busy surfing the Internet and facebooking during an exam. So, we all had to pay by sitting in a meeting that just kept repeating about invigilating correctly and what was the most important point of that meeting?? Nothing really!
Today's meeting was a bit different, we were told that we were not going to invigilate our own students and be in our own rooms. OK. The students don't get to move classes, but we had to move classes, and quote "to make sure the teachers are not helping students and do favouritism." OK. So, don't move the students but move the teachers? I was a bit pissed, because I was moved to a class, which didn't have speakers for the listening. So, I had to run around to get crap portable speakers so that the girls can do their listening test. In my opinion I would move the students around. Students cheat by writing certain things on their desks, where as if you move them to a different room, they would get a different desk and therefore the rate of cheating decreases. But hey!!, the teachers are the problem!! My brave room mate mentioned this in the meeting this morning. Guess what was the response from the manager "Oh please S***,..."  What the manager failed to understand is that she just brought our ethics down. She just made us look like as if we are the untrustworthy ones. Excuse me, but we are the ones that catch the girls cheating. If you put your teachers down like that, how on earth would they ever like you? Let alone respect you? No teacher is that dumb to help a student out. Man, even if you are not in Saudi for the teaching, you are there for the money, you won't let some cheating keeping you from having your pay check!!

The best thing I learned from the dude that made FORD cars, he used to take care of his people. He used to treat  his workers with kindness and respect to make sure that they are satisfied and happy. If you treat your workers as if they are the criminals to everything, then they will not be your biggest fans. It is not maths nor science to figure that out.

To end all of that, I have to say that today was a pretty emotional day for me. I had to say goodbye to my students. I always fall in love with my students, regardless of how difficult they can be sometimes. I hate handing them over to a new teacher. However, I told them that they should be excited for their new teacher and that she might be really good for them. They all gave me good bye hugs and wished me well on my holiday and telling me to be safe and to return safely to Jouf. One students in particular, who I extremely admire, actually had tears. I told her "I am only going to be gone for the holidays, you will still see me around at school." She gave me a hug and couldn't let go. I hope, really Inshallah that she achieves all the best in life, because she is smart, articulate and extremely intelligent in everything that she does. Saudi needs such strong women to lead their schools and spread the love of education through girls and women like her.

Right now, I can breathe a little better. This semester has been really trying with all the changes and the backwardness. I can't wait to hop on the plane and fly off the Turkey to see familiar faces and to be surrounded by warmth and love. Most of all, I am doing this for my students. I will go to Turkey for them, take pictures and bring them something back. Most of them will never see Turkey and I will be their ambassador.

I learned one thing from this semester. PATIENCE is an ABSOLUTE VIRTUE.  Love is the divine conqueror of all things. PRAYER is the first action of faith and FAITH lies within the belief of God and actually doing what you set out to do.  With regards to my new manager, the only thing I have to say is a quote form the Qur'an, Sura Al Yasin verse 10 : "It is all the same for them, whether you warn them or don't warn them, they don't believe."