7 days detox killer !! Raw foods and no tea

Ok,so I have not informed you that I have done a 7 day detox to refresh my mental vitality and to clean my body from a lot of junk I have been eating. Since I came to Saudi I picked up a whopping 5 kg!!! At the age that I am I know that I better fix that or it will be a down hill from there on. It is easy to pick up weight in Saudi. Firstly, the food is so damn good! Secondly, I hardly walk anywhere. The only time I walk, is to my bedroom and to the kitchen, so no exercise. The weather is never good enough to do anything sporty. It is either too hot or too cold.

I decided to first clean my body before I attempt any kind of diet or even do exercise. So the first day for breakfast I drank one full cup of hot water with lemon. Then it was raw foods. What I mean by raw foods I mean, just salad. Yes, for 7 days I lived on salad. I always made sure that my portions were small but filling enough to last me the whole day.
I don't drink tea anymore (sad face) and I cut out coffee completely. I suffered from severe head aches from not having any caffeine or carbs for a week. However, my body pulled through. My body pulled through so much that it got a shock yesterday when I ate some carbs. I felt like crap. So I am back to eating lots of vegetables and most of them are raw.
I am on this particular diet to decrease the sugar levels in my blood. I don't even use sugar anymore. I just use honey...sparingly.
So far I have lost 1 kilograms from this detox. Now I am eating "normal" again. So far I ate a small serving of yogurt with spinach cooked in tomato and eggplant. I have to say it was delicious.
I am not intending to be vegetarian, since I am African, I simply can't live without meat!!. I mean it, meat is my lifeline.

This is my second week in to this program and tomorrow I will start jogging about and do regular exercise.
I want to reach my goal of losing about 10 kg for starters.
I just want to feel happy in the skin that I am in and not squeeze my body into my clothes. 

Just Dip- Dip it in Chocolate

I know what you all thinking that I will be metaphorically speaking of how wonderful black women are...like chocolate.
Actually no. I am writing about a revolution that has occured in Skakah Al Jouf!! Finally Jouf has a mall (can I hear a round of applause). Comparing it to a mall back home, it would only get the title "plaza", but hey, let's not be negative. It is a a  beautiful thing. Also, in this mall there is a food section. Wait for it!! Where women can chill with a cup of coffee!!
Now you know where my pay check is going.
First of all I believe it is a revolution, because we can finally move out of boredom to actually living a bit. The mall is fantastic and has wonderful shops that can make Europe bleed. My favourite shop is Msiki, which mostly gets its clothes from Turkey. So, their fashion is really good. Like any other mall in Saudi, it is also packed with perfume shops. I really like them! Any perfume you desire you will find it right here.
My favourite part of the mall is the food section. I am really happy that as a woman I can go and have a cup of coffee and unwind a little. There are two coffee shops at the food section. The one is called "Dip", and the other one is called "Thank you Mr. Coffee".  I like them both and they are equally unique.
I love Dip for the pure fact it is all about chocolate. They even have chocolate fountains. In my world I would just swim in there. The great thing about Dip is that where ever women sit, they just get a big partition so that no can see you while you stuff your face with chocolate. To be honest, the one thing that I love about Saudi is the fact that you can eat in private while you are in public. I love the family sections. I enjoy having a big curtain around me, to take my niqab off and to relax without anyone staring at my face. The menu at Dip is wonderful. They have all the coffees you desire, just make sure to say "no sugar please" as they love adding sugar for you. I had a nice cup of late, which was perfect and had a heart shape on it and a crepe stuffed with a brownie. I know it sounds impossible. They actually make the crepe, then put a brownie in and wrap it up. If that is not chocolaty enough, they drizzle, white, brown and dark brown chocolate on top of it. Can you say decadent??
The service at Dip is average. You must make sure to remind them once in a while that you are waiting for coffee. Other than that, the people that work there are great and can speak English.
Even if you want to enjoy a cup of Americano with a Marlboro cigarette, you can have it. I am not joking. You can huff and puff your way in there.

The other coffee shop is Thank you Mr Coffee. Now the title does sound a bit too long winded and childish, but the service and the food are off the hook. I love the decor of the place and also the variety of teas they have.
Their family section is much better than Dip's, purely because it is more spacious and they have luxurious couches.
Their coffee is good. I had a Turkish coffee there that was sweet, and ordered one of my favourite sweets Cinnabun!! Their cinnabuns are always fresh, and they add walnuts and cardamon in them. I would advice them to take the cardamon out and leave the nuts.
Anyhow, they have a good selection of Greenfield teas and their service is pretty awesome. The staff can't speak English at all. So you must learn to say "wahad cinnabun, wahad kafee". However, they are very kind and sensitive towards women. They are vibrant aswell. If you are not into coffees and teas and would like more of a cold dessert, they have a wide selection of ice-creams. I would recommend you to try the mango ice-cream which is really nice.

Near the food sections there is a nice play area for kids to go and enjoy themselves while the mom can sit for a while.
Jouf is pretty conservative, so try not to take your niqab off if you are not in the family section, you will find people staring at you.
However, I am glad that I could go out and do what I do best. Sit, Relax and enjoy a cup of coffee.

At the moment there are many more shops opening up at Jouf and I see that the construction is taking shape. Who knows maybe in 10 years time, Jouf will be like Riyadh.

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery........

It is not often that I come home to my room and plug my computer in. I switch to my playlist and listen to the music to fill my mood of my heavy bones, swaying them in the mood.

This time I landed on an old time favourite: Bob Marley "Redemption songs" and my mind was travelling back in time of when I was a young girl. I remembered when I was in my late teens. I was overwhelmed in my music writing, poetry contemplating and filling my head with tiny long braids. Yes, I enjoyed wrapping the bright pink, green, red scarves around my head...the way we do it back home and appreciating every bit of my African heritage. 

However, listening to Bob Marley's song touched me today like it touched me when I heard it for the first time, almost 10 years ago. This song couldn't have been better to explain the disappointment I have felt from the various changes that have occurred where I am working. Changes where people have been let go of their jobs, not because they were in competent, not because they didn't do their job, but because of mental slavery. It shocks me that in this day and age people still judge other people from ancient "class systems" that only enforces racism and prejudice. Till this very day people still treat people as "servants" and I am the "boss". It bothers me a great deal, because I am not that kind of person that can turn a blind eye. However, if someone is stuck between a rock and a hard place, what can we expect of them to do.  

Really, the hardest thing for me to swallow about all of this, is that it is brushed off and therefore makes it appear as "ok", when it is NOT "ok". Maybe our silence is the fuel to the fire of continuing this kind of behaviour. 

One thing I particularly love about this song of Bob Marley is that he says "Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. Non, but ourselves can free our minds." This became a reality check for me in my life and also seeing it in other people's lives.

If we track back in history, there has been a lot of slavery, hard economical slavery, where people were slaves in foreign countries and in their own countries. Since time has moved on, slavery has been abolished, however, people are still slaves. People can't seem to lift themselves up from where someone forced to place them to a place that is made of freedom.  Even though slavery is over, people still have that slave mentality. "The slave and the slave-driver" mentality is still happening today. I see it on TV, on the news, how people treat each other like animals, as if we have no regard for other human beings. 

In order for change to happen, even the person that is treated as the slave needs to lift himself/herself from that state of mind to be absolutely free. Who is that slave driver? Just another human being that has a lot of money and a loud mouth, but he isn't God. He can't change time nor rule the world. 

I was happy to see all the revolutions and protests that have been happening in the Arab-Nations and across the world, where people emancipated themselves and said "no more." No more of treating people like crap, no more robbing people from the right to live, the right to strive and the right to all the basic human needs. 

In the light of all of this, it is still a sad reality that people still choose to be slaves for the pleasures of money. What is money? Since when has money become more important than our divine right for freedom? I start to wonder whether we are robbing ourselves rather than those that take from us.

I just had to write about this, because it is something that is heavy on my heart. Something that I would like everyone to really think about. This goes deeper than just work, economy, how bosses treat staff, but it also goes right into us. In our daily lives some of us choose to be slaves of this world. Working for ever but for nothing  and sharing no pleasures at all. We forget that we have the power to take ourselves out of that situation, even when it seems impossible...and believe me, I know what impossible can look like. 

People often just sit and wait for God/Allah to shower them with everything, Sabhan'Allah, but we don't get up and do. Faith does not work on its own, it needs you to get up and take the first step, Allah will sort the rest out. 

I remember when I was also stuck in a really terrible situation in Turkey. Believe me, as much as I love this country, I will NEVER work there again. I swear, I was actually worried about what I will eat the next day. That is how bad it was. Believe me, I cried, but I soon realized that crying was not actually going to solve my problems. So, I had to get up and literally move myself from that situation. I needed to get up and move, the rest was faith.. There was no ways I was going to allow someone to treat me like a slave, after my family struggled for freedom just for me to fall back into slavery.. Hell no! Believe me, at that point in time, it all looked impossible, but I tell you, I freed myself from that bullshit.

However, as long as there is greed in this world, slavery and slave mentality will be in this world. So, the change is big, but possible. 

I will share a poem I wrote when I was in University about 3 years ago.

I am a prison of myself 

I am a prisoner of myself when I threw my key away.

I am the lover of these walls that they have kept me in.

I am trapped in their history of what they have made me to be

I lick my wounds in these chains, money is for what I bleed.

I let them look down on me till I can crawl back in the womb

I let them measure me and take the height of my ability. 

I am a servant of punishment for I lost my worth

I am ever obedient for their rage and curse 

I am counting my pennies and nickles for all I deserve

I lick my wounds inflicted on this skin for dirt 

I let them snap their fingers at me till I crawl to their needs

I let them have me in anyway they want it to be

But my mama said...

No, my child you are the key of your prison door

You are the strength to break down these walls

You are free from history and everything they made out to be

Wound are only a memory of what you bled

They look up at you till they crawl to your feet

For there ain't no measurement nor height for someone that's free

So, think about this and don't let anyone tell you who you are, what your dreams will be and where you will be. They can't move Allah's hand!

Flying Nuns and funny languages :)

Finally it is the weekend!! I am so happy to finally relax after a hectic week of teaching. It was a very tough week for both me and the students. Shame, they had to write a quiz that tested them from Unit1 to Unit 5 and most of them had a reality check that English isn't easy....even when speaking is multiple choice. 

However, most of my students are such strong individuals, they suck it up and didn't cry and said to me "Teacher, I will try harder in my next exam." Now that is what I call absolute dedication towards studying and learning. I love this new batch of students. They don't ask me weird questions like "teeeecccheer, why 8, why no 10?" or "teeaacccheer me good ?" No, they take initiative, they sort themselves out. They enjoy doing difficult exercises and enjoy the challenges of English. They have dreams of becoming strong independent ladies that want to see their strengths and work on their weaknesses. Everyday when I go to class, they are ready before 8 o 'clock and have their books open. This is what I live for. I teach wonderful people. People that take the world in their hands. They NEVER complain and always find solutions for any problem in class. They told me that they really struggle with listening to English and answering the questions correctly. They asked me to have a quiz of listening every day to improve their hearing of English. Now, isn't that mature?? I think that is mature and very responsible. Bravo group 3 and 4!!

Now, as for the week itself it was somewhat funny. First of all, there are many characters at the compound that I stay in. The first character I will call "the Flying Nun". No, I am not being ambiguous or a tad pretentious of this title. If you see this character, then you would understand. She refuses to wear the abaya, claiming that "it is too hot and she suffocates". However, HER version of the abaya looks more claustrophobic than the normal one. To top it all of, she wears it with this black cape that makes her look like the head of the Harry Potter Wizardry. To make the picture more real to you, she wears a white scarf underneath her black scarf, therefore looking like a nun. All she needs is a broom stick and off she flies to school.

Before I came to Saudi, I knew some information about the laws and regulations and I was cool with that. I even went online, like "google" to find out what I needed to be more prepared and to have a comfortable life as a foreign woman in Saudi. It is not that difficult. It says that one should wear the abaya and the scarf. If you find yourself in more conservative areas then you should just wear the niqab. You don't have to be a genius to get it all together. However, for the record, teachers still come to Saudi in strange outfits and "abayas" and wonder why the mattawa (religious police) hunts them down. They persist to disobey the law and wonder why the Saudi locals give them stares and glares. What is so hard? Get a black abaya and scarf, that's it!

For me, I just chuckle by myself and find the humor in it all. I mean, Jouf is not the most exciting town, so if  anyone can make it more humorous, I am cool with it....10 points mate.

However, jokes a side. I think wherever you travel you need to know and understand the rules/ practices of the country in order not to offend or to get your ass deported. Just google-it!!

Secondly, the funniest thing that happened this week. So, I am sitting in a villa that gracefully displayed the different continents and pictures of different countries and also the flag. I was pretty impressed, thinking "wow, these dudes have done their home work. They even have the flag in their house, mashallah". However, the climax crashed down when one of the house mates said "No one must speak Islam."  Speak Islam????

Please can someone refer a language on Google to me,  that says "learn to speak Islam in 3 months", because I would love to do a crash course in it. I mean I am Muslim and my religion is Islam, but I have never heard of the language being called Islam. I will be kind and assume that he meant "Arabic". Bravo Mate!!! Once again, just google-it!!

Don't ask me where we get the teachers, I don't know. Because I think that there must have been something I said or did in my interview that landed me in Jouf. I can see why the others landed here! Flying nuns and people that speak Islam.However, what did I say and do in my interview where my boss said "ok Zim, you should go to Jouf??" What was my joke? I think I smiled too much and I was just too friendly and he thought "let her be in there, she is a  push over". Whatever it is, I can't complain about it. I am here and trying to make the best of what I have. 

I know that Jouf is not an endless pit of nothing, or an escape to nowhere. It is a place to find peace, even though peace keeps playing hide-and-seek all the time. :)

Saudi marriage catastrophe - "till money do we part"

I have to say that I have not had a dull moment during my stay in the Kingdom. Not too long ago, I was approached with a marriage proposal. Yes, finally a Saudi actually considered marrying me. The problem was, I was not considering to marry him. After I enclosed this information to my friends, most of them had various opinions regarding this.
One of them said " Go for it! Marry him so that you can finally put your finger in the oil." and some wanted me to just be a charity case and a guinea pig, so that I can tell them exactly what it is like. 
I said no to that proposal for various reasons. First of all, there is no ways I am just going to hand my rights over, because the rules of game are pretty different when you are not a Saudi. Second of all, I am just not down like that. I have a small philosophy in life, and that is not to get divorced. In this case, I can actually see that happen. Thirdly, I am way to strong for a Saudi boy from Al Jawf. I mean, come on! I can't even admit a losing battle to myself. 
Besides all of this craze, I knew that it would be impossible for him to marry me, due to the fact that his beloved Saudi government has made it virtually impossible for Saudi guys to marry foreign women. Don't get me wrong, mixed marriage do happen, but at a very limited and controlled scale.
First of all there are too many marital issues in Saudi for their government to allow their men to go and marry foreign fruit. 
I was shocked at how many single women there are in Saudi! Official data has shown that over 1.8 million women in Saudi are unmarried!  It has  been predicted that in 4 years time over 4 million women would be single. I can see the tears in these women's eyes. 
Second of all, the divorce rate in Saudi is ridiculously high. Last  year, out of the 60 000 marriages, 18 000 of the couples got divorced!!  Shocking! Believe me,  if you actually got to hear half of the reasons why most of them got divorced, it actually would be comical.
My brother once told me that "Sis, in Saudi, marriage is like a gamble, you never know what you are going to get". He was right! Clearly 18 000 of those couples didn't like what they got.
Due to these reasons of Saudi women not getting married, the law has curb the Saudi men's "enthusiasm" to get married to the foreign fantasies. 
Well, I can't blame a Saudi guy if he wants to marry a foreign woman. Come on! It does not take an Einstein to figure out the reasons why some prefer to do this.
First of all, look at the social setting. A Saudi boy grows up never seeing women besides his family members. So, the deprivation of not seeing, not meeting, not knowing a woman in your own country can drive anyone to look at the opposite direction.
Most of Saudi boys decide to go and study abroad and for the first time they see the faces of a women, they get to work with women in universities and finally form some kind of friendships with them, realizing that it can be harmless (don't get me wrong, I am not encouraging things). Eventually from being scared and shy of women,  they can form conversations with them and often good ones at that. Now, they spend 4 years studying abroad, that means 4 years of enjoying a very free life. For the first time, they can get the chance to make their own decisions regarding who people are and whether they want to encourage friendships or not regardless of the sex/gender.  Through it all, by accident they fall in love with a girl. Of course for the girl, a Saudi guy is heaven. He does not make demands. He most certainly never had sex before and it all feels like a match in heaven. He realizes that he wants to marry her and wants to take her with him to his country. However ,the fairy tale does not go that way. Why? Well, he can't. He can try to give in his application to a government committee to marry this foreign girl. This process can take up to 3 months and after all of that, most of them are being denied. Not to mention, he is probably scared shit-less of his family, bringing this new ideology of marrying outside the culture, it can be something not digestible for his family. So his fairy tale comes to an end and he then decides to be difficult for the rest of live and decides not to marry anyone. 
I think that is a sad reality most Saudi guys and women face. Why should people be conditioned to marry only their own kind? As far as I remember, our Prophet (PBUH), he got married to women from different tribes so that he can strengthen politics and the religion. To top it all of, people that asked him about marrying foreign people, He never said no. Actually it is in the Qu'ran where it says : 49:13 O mankind! We have created you from a single (pair) of male and female and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other" 
So maybe, just maybe if the Saudi government allows its people to diversify, just maybe the statistics of single Saudi women won't look so bad. 
It is even harder for a Saudi woman to marry a foreign man. If she decides to marry a man outside of Saudi, she stands the chance to lose her nationality. Further more, if she resides in Saudi, her children will be stripped from the social benefits that Saudi children enjoy. 
The other big problem as to why Saudi women don't get married quickly enough or at all, it is due to the outrageous Mahr. If you don't want Mahr is, it is dowry or "bridal money". It is the gift that the groom gives to bride prior marriage according to his means.


The Mahr in Saudi is not less than SAR 60 000 and don't be shocked when it is over SAR 150 000. Since when did the trend start where women/families ask this much?
Let me give you an example of South Africa. When Muslims get married in South Africa, the women are so modest about it all that they sometimes can't even accept more than ZAR 10 000 ( SAR 5000). Sometimes she asks for something that is more worthy than money. Like " do you promise to give me an education?"
Putting the pressure of making a dude pay SAR 150 000 for mahr is like hanging him by his feet before the marriage even started. No man should be put under this kind of pressure. Let's refer to the Qu'ran again: "65;7 (Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship ease "
My question is just this: "Why the burden?" Marriage is suppose to made easy for those that wish to get married. Why? The moment we make marriage hard for people, Satan will have a play field of making people believe that there is no reason for us to get married. 
Maybe , just maybe if Saudi men can have an ease in getting married, just maybe, the statistic wouldn't be so astonishing to look at at. 


I can also see how this kind of marriage system can make people extremely vain, proud and even prejudice. Think about it. This can make families believe that their daughters' worth are over SAR 150 000, but no one cares about her true worth. It can make her vain, which can cripple the marriage. Believe me dudes, you don't want to marry someone that is vain. She will keep reminding you that you are just not good enough. Also this can create prejudice between certain tribes. It has already done this. Some students boast to me that they don't want to marry anything else, but an Al-Rwaily ( a particular Saudi tribe)??? WTF???? 
I am at the age and maturity level that, as long as the dude is just NICE and has a job I AM HAPPY!!!. 


So, it is not all that rosy in the land of Saudi regarding marriages and people meeting their soul mates. I think that people need to be given the freedom to choose whether they want to marry inside a country or not. It is not for anyone else to decide. The government will not be there when the idiot decides to flip a 360 degrees of hate towards you. 
I thought to write this, because I don't agree with this mentality or practices. I think it is killing marriage for young Saudis that want to get married. It will decrease the population since women are not married and therefore won't be able to have children. Also, I think it will make Saudi men hate being in Saudi and move somewhere else where they can marry whomever they want according to their means. 



Also, I think mixed marriages are the key to spread the genes, to improve relations between countries and most of all to strengthen Islam. Of course I encourage this within the rules of Islam. If a gentleman whether Saudi or not asks the parents to marry their daughter. They should not look at the size of his pocket nor at the tone of skin, but rather at his heart, his history and his intentions. Remember that man will be the father of your daughter's children and be a member of the family. I would rather have a kind, honest and gentle son in law than a rich rude boy who will destroy my daughter's hopes and dreams of a peaceful marriage.


After all it is "till death do we part" rather than "till money do we part".