One thing I love and hate is change. I love change because it is part of life, part of nature and it is inevitable. However, I also do hate change sometimes, because it kills the comfort zone that I set up and gotten used to. None the less, I choose the embrace change instead of fighting.
I can't exactly say where in the middle east I am, but I am in a place where there are no black people. Literally I am the only black person I have seen so far. I better become my own best friend.
I think it takes a tough person to really go through what I have been going through. Luckily Turkey has given me some years of practice of how to deal with people that have never seen black people before.
However, the folks on this side of life are pretty intense. For example, today we went to buy some bread and two kids were in the same store as me. The moment the one blonde headed kid laid his eyes on me, he literally stared a hole in my forehead. He even made it a point to come as close to me as possible just to make sure that he is INDEED looking at a black person.
Little things like shopping is such a big deal, because I am conscious of myself and most of all I can't be left in peace. It is one thing if someone looks at you and then moves on, but when people stare, it makes me want to jump outside my skin and slap them all.
The one thing that runs through my mind is the fact that I am shocked that they are shocked. I mean it is year 2013 and you tell me that people have never seen African folks. We are not a novelty I promise you that much!!!
I guess that is why I am having a real difficult time liking this place. People aren't racist at all, please don't get me wrong.......but I can't stand being stared at or eyed from every corner!
Anyhow, being black is one of the smallest problems I have. My one major problem is that I have never struggled so hard to understand a culture or a group of people as much as I am struggling now. I am not sure if it is the fact that I don't understand the language or whether the lack of history I know. However, when I was in Saudi, I also didn't know the langauge at first, but I understood the people in less than a week.
This feeling of not know much about this part of the world does freak me out a great deal. I mean, as it seems that it is 99% Muslims, but 2 nights ago, it didn't sound like very Muslim. Even in South Africa we don't celebrate New Years so hard. These people party hard I guess.
Anyhow I am struggling to settle in and find myself just wanting to stay in doors. Which is sooo not like me!!!
The new journey has proven to me that life is indeed full of twists and turns and you never know what you will get in life. Sometimes I think we should stop planning and just live. Why? It is the best way to suprise yourself of what you can achieve in a small amount of time.
I am still teaching which is amazing. I love teaching, I am good at it and I am really good being in the class room. The only strange thing or the one thing I was really nervous about was teaching male students. I have been in Saudi for 3 years, being exposed to girls only. Knowing how girls are, their behaviour and reaction and their efforts in class was a breeze for me. Now, it is a bit different. My first day in class here was a bit nerve wrecking, because I know how boy students often like to joke around, being disruptive and constantly challanging their boundaries in learning. They have been extremely respectful though, really enjoying being disciplined and guided in the correct direction. I am curious how it will all turn out. They are lovely students and the girls are super smart and sweet. They always make the lesson so sweet.
Besides that I just want to crawl in a hole for a while and pass out. It has just been so emotional and a rollercoaster of a few days. I would like to find a nice hobbie for myself to keep my mind of the change. I'd like to attend langauge classes or even go to the local gym. However, I don't know how things work here and it is frustrating. Even the roads don't make sense here!!!
Anyhow, that is a little update about me.
Ciao!
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